|
PureBytes Links
Trading Reference Links
|
LOL!!
Bill
--- In amibroker@xxxx, "Dr. S. Nathan Berger" <snberger@xxxx> wrote:
> Hi, all
>
> Got this in my mailbox from Al Thomas (If It Doesn't Go Up, Don't
Buy It),
> and know he would not mind if I pass it along to the Group:
>
> Clarification of Terms
> BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to
mistake
> himself for a financial genius.
>
> BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no
allowance, the
> wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
>
> MOMENTUM INVESTING -- The fine art of buying high and selling low.
>
> VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
>
> P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
market
> keeps crashing.
>
> BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
>
> "BUY, BUY" -- A flight attendant making market recommendations as
you step
> off the plane.
>
> STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
>
> STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. Pronounced
with a
> broad 'A'.
>
> STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
equally
> between themselves.
>
> FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy who actually remembers his wallet when
he runs to
> the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.
>
> MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
>
> CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down
the toilet.
>
> YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for
$240 per
> share.
>
> WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker that
bought
> Yahoo
> @ $240 per share.
>
> INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in
a
> nuthouse.
>
> PROFIT -- Religious guy who talks to God
>
> Hope you can still laugh at such as this!
>
> Nate
|