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Hi, all
Got this in my mailbox from Al Thomas (If It Doesn't Go Up, Don't Buy It),
and know he would not mind if I pass it along to the Group:
Clarification of Terms
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the
wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
MOMENTUM INVESTING -- The fine art of buying high and selling low.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
"BUY, BUY" -- A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step
off the plane.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. Pronounced with a
broad 'A'.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to
the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
share.
WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought
Yahoo
@ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.
PROFIT -- Religious guy who talks to God
Hope you can still laugh at such as this!
Nate
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