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> 1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.> 2.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.> 3. Going to church doesn't
make you a Christian any more than standing> in a garage makes you a car.
(but, going to church repairs your> christianity, just like taking your
car to the mechanic repairs your car)> 4. Artificial intelligence is no
match for natural stupidity.> 5. If you must choose between two evils,
pick the one you've never tried > before.> 6. My idea of housework
is to sweep the room with a glance.> 7. Not one shred of evidence
supports the notion that life is serious.> 8. It is easier to get
forgiveness than permission.> 9. For every action, there is an equal and
opposite government program.> 10. If you look like your passport picture,
you probably need the trip.> 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice
the speed of cheques.> 12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your
other parts feel so good.> 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.>
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.> 15. No man
has ever been shot while doing the dishes.> 16. A balanced diet is a
cookie in each hand.> 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and
narrowness of the waist> change places.> 18. Opportunities always
look bigger going than coming.> 19. Junk is something you've kept for
years and throw away three weeks> before you need it.> 20. There
is always one more imbecile than you counted on.> 21. Experience is a
wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a> mistake when you make it
again.> 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the
ends.> 23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.> 24.
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real >
world.> > 25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look
fat.> >
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