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> Obituary: > > Today we mourn the passing of
an old friend, by the name of > "Common Sense". Common Sense lived
a long life but died in the > United States from heart failure on the
brink of the new > millennium. No one really knows how old he was,
since his birth > records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
> > He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools,
hospitals, > homes, factories helping folks get jobs done without fanfare
and > foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and
frivolous > lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was
credited with > cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come
in out of > the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life
isn't > always fair. > > Common Sense lived by simple,
sound financial policies (don't > spend more than you! earn), reliable
parenting strategies (the > adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's
okay to come in > second. A veteran of the Industrial Revolution,
the Great > Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense
> survived cultural and educational trends including body piercing,
> whole language, and "new math". But his health declined when he
> became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-
> it" virus. > > In recent decades his waning strength
proved no match for the > ravages of well intentioned but overbearing
regulations. He > watched in pain as good people became ruled by
self-seeking > lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated when
schools endlessly > implemented zero-tolerance policies. Reports of
a six-year-old > boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate, a > teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch,
and a > teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened
> his condition. > > It declined even further when schools
had to get parental consent > to administer aspirin to a student but
could not inform the > parent when a female student was pregnant or
wanted an abortion. > > Finally, Common Sense lost his will to
live as the Ten > Commandments became contraband, churches became
businesses, > criminals received better treatment than victims, and
federal > judges stuck their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to
> professional sports. Finally, when a woman, too stupid to realize
> that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, was awarded a huge >
settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel. > > As the end
neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but > was kept informed
of developments regarding questionable > regulations such as those for
low flow toilets, rocking chairs, > and stepladders. > >
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and > Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and > his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers, My Rights > and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few > realized he was
gone. > > --Obituary author unknown. <FONT
color=#0f0f0f><FONT
size=2>
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