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[RT] Investment laughs



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Maybe we all need a few laughs after what we have 
been through.



  
  
    If You Need A 
      Laugh!!!
    04/03/02 
      
  
     Investing - 101 for BeginnersBull Market - A 
      random market movement causing aninvestor to mistake himself for a 
      financial genius.Bear Market - A 6 to 18-month period when the 
      kids getno allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no 
      sex.Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling 
      low.Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling 
      lower.P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting 
      theirpants as the Market keeps crashing.Broker - What my 
      broker has made me."Buy, Buy" - A flight attendant making 
      marketrecommendations as you step off the plane.Standard & 
      Poor - Your life in a nutshell.Stock Analyst - Idiot who just 
      downgraded your stock.Stock split - When your ex-wife and her 
      lawyer split allyour assets equally between themselves.Market 
      Correction - What happens the day after you buy stocks.Cash Flow - 
      The movement your money makes as itdisappears down the 
      toilet.Yahoo - What someone yelled after selling it to you for 
      $240 per shareWindows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're 
      thesucker that bought Yahoo at $240 per share.Institutional 
      Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. 
      






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