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Maybe we all need a few laughs after what we have
been through.
If You Need A
Laugh!!!
04/03/02
Investing - 101 for BeginnersBull Market - A
random market movement causing aninvestor to mistake himself for a
financial genius.Bear Market - A 6 to 18-month period when the
kids getno allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no
sex.Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling
low.Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling
lower.P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting
theirpants as the Market keeps crashing.Broker - What my
broker has made me."Buy, Buy" - A flight attendant making
marketrecommendations as you step off the plane.Standard &
Poor - Your life in a nutshell.Stock Analyst - Idiot who just
downgraded your stock.Stock split - When your ex-wife and her
lawyer split allyour assets equally between themselves.Market
Correction - What happens the day after you buy stocks.Cash Flow -
The movement your money makes as itdisappears down the
toilet.Yahoo - What someone yelled after selling it to you for
$240 per shareWindows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're
thesucker that bought Yahoo at $240 per share.Institutional
Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
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