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"I don't need anyone's money and I don't care what anyone thinks of me
because I'm above such trivia...right up there with Buddha, Einstein and
Pogo. However, I will condescend to spend my precious time to set the
record straight for all the poor befuddled slobs out there."
"I discovered the Secret Supreme Unfathomable Market Order. I discovered it
WAY BEFORE all those other bozos who claim to have discovered it...they're
just selling MY SECRETS, which they stole from me, but they didn't get it
right anyway, because ONLY I am qualified to teach these AMAZING secrets. I
have decided to reveal some of my INCREDIBLE discoveries to the fortunate
few who purchase my Secret Supreme Unfathomable Notebooks, which I am going
to make available for the bargain-basement price of $5,000 per volume.
These notebooks are quality 2-sided, 5th-generation photocopies, beautifully
bound in nifty blue plastic binders. Each edition is strictly limited to as
many as I can possibly sell. By the time you finish Volume 37 you should
have a firm grasp of the Secret Supreme Unfathomable Basics (if you don't
it's because you should have studied harder!)."
"Again, I don't really NEED the money, but I have to charge a bunch to keep
it exclusive. Besides, it's not REALLY a lot of money...it's not enough to
buy a new house or a college education or a Lamborghini or anything like
that!"
"Don't delay! They won't last long at this price!"
Guru Fleecem N. Burnem
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