|
PureBytes Links
Trading Reference Links
|
Since it's weekend and the inflow of mail is low, this is the the time to
inform fellow RT's on the comming EURO. Especially to you americans who may
wonder what is happening with the new comming economy in Europe.
But you know, to understand what is happening with the economy, you also
have to understand the language.
So please read carefully:
> THE NEW EUROPE...
>
> The European Commision has just announced an agreement whereby English
will
> be
> the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other
> possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's goverment
conceded
> that
> English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year
> phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish".
>
> In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make
> the
> sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of
the
> "k".
> This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
>
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
> troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like
> "fotograf" 20% shorter.
>
> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be exspekted
to
> reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
>
> Goverments will enkorage the removal og double letters, which have always
> ben a
> deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
the
> silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
>
> By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
> with
> "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
> from
> vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
> kombinations of letters.
>
> After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor
> trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
>
> ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!
> And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld.
|