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What's The Problem?
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc,
you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."
"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.
"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No
matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."
"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your
self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom
mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an
attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll
have women buzzing all around you."
The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit
excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden
expression on his face. "Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.
"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the
best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."
"So, what's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does." >>
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Date: 8 Jan 2000 15:23:29 -0000
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From: "www.JokeFiles.com" <jokefiles2-owner@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Delivered-To: mailing list jokefiles2@xxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: A Joke A Day (Saturday ... January 8, 2000)
www.JokeFiles.com
_________________________
<a href="http://www.irove.com/free0005.html";>
Dance The Night Away</a> <- click to the fun
_________________________
<a href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/freelotto.pl?mediaimage";>
Play Free LOTTO</a> <- Win $1,000,000.00
NEW YEAR'S SPECIAL:<a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/turbo.pl?mediaimage";>
QUICKEN TURBO TAX</a> <- download for free
Download now and get Printmaster Publishing Suite 7.0 free!
_________________________
14 Bonus jokes for the week of January 2 - January 8:<a
href="http://www.jokefiles.com/index.html";>
www.JokeFiles.com</a>
_________________________
Invite friends to send an e-mail to <a
href="mailto:LM209@xxxxxxx";>LM209@xxxxxxx</a> to join the free joke list.
_________________________
What's The Problem?
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc,
you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."
"What's the problem?" the doctor inquired.
"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No
matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."
"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your
self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom
mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an
attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll
have women buzzing all around you."
The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit
excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden
expression on his face. "Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.
"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the
best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."
"So, what's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."
----
Bonus joke below!
_________________________
<a href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/bigword.pl?mediaimage";>
2000 FORD EXPLORER</a> <- click to win
<a href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=74&b=9999&c=1683";>
$100 worth of Internet coupons</a> <- click here
<a href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=79&b=9999&c=1683";>
Free Horoscope</a> <- click here
_________________________
BONUS JOKE
On The Beach
A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran
up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay
dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
_________________________<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=85&b=9999&c=1683";>
FREE INTERNET ACCESS</a> <- click here
<a href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=76&b=9999&c=1683";>
Free iCard</a> <- pay your bills online
<a href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/social.pl?mediaimage";>
Free Online Dating Service</a> <- click to romance
<a href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=74&b=9999&c=1683";>
The Gator</a> <- free software that types for you!
<a
href="http://www.commission-junction.com/track/track.dll?AID=42542&PID=181818&URL=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eonlinesurveys%2Ecom";>
Online Survey market research panel.</a> <- click here
Its fun, easy and you can win $1,000.
Cool Sweepstakes To Win:<a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/bigword.pl?mediaimage";>
2000 FORD EXPLORER</a><a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/ny.pl?mediaimage";>
$10,000 NYC Shopping Spree</a><a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/jeep.pl?mediaimage";>
Jeep Sweepstakes</a><a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/super.pl?mediaimage";>
Win a new DELL computer</a><a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/himprove.pl?mediaimage";>
Home Improvement</a><a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/tstereo.pl?mediaimage";>
Tweaked Out Car Stereo</a>
MANY MORE COOL FREEBIES: <a
href="http://www.websponsors.com/cgi-bin/ad_click.cgi?userid=10514&offerid=619";>
Turbo Tax</a> <- free 30-day trial<a href="http://www.irove.com/cd.html";>
22 Free CD-ROMs</a> <- s&h added<a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/pagoo.pl?mediaimage";>
The Solution Is Pagoo</a> <- get phone messages while online<a
href="http://www.valupage.com/?From=iRove";>
Grocery Coupons</a> <- save money each week<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=69&b=1&c=1683&offer=38";>
FAMILY TREE DELUXE CD-ROM</a> <- s&h added<a
href="http://www.websponsors.com/cgi-bin/ad_click.cgi?userid=10514&offerid=534";>
All Herb</a> <- free newsletter<a
href="http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/stat?id=7Aq5nQBIJr4&offerid=8489&type=1&subid=0"; >
Food.com</a> <- click for local take-out or delivery<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=69&b=9999&c=1683&offer=41";>
JEOPARDY!</a> <- FREE CD-ROM (s&h added)<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=74&b=9999&c=1683";>
The Gator</a> <- free cool software<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=84&b=9999&c=1683";>
Get Gooey</a> <- free new chat software<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=69&b=1&c=1683&offer=36";>
GUIDE TO COOKING CD-ROM</a> <- s&h added<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=74&b=9999&c=1683";>
$100 worth of Internet coupons</a> <- click here<a
href="http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/stat?id=7Aq5nQBIJr4&offerid=6056&type=1&subid=0"; >
Practical Programs (self help)</a> <- FREE DIET assessment
_________________________
Some Fun Stuff:
14 Bonus jokes for the week of January 2 - January 8:<a
href="http://www.jokefiles.com/index.html";>
www.JokeFiles.com</a>
<a href="http://www.jokefiles.com/dirty.html";>
Off-Color Jokes</a> <- click to bonus jokes
<a href="http://www.jokefiles.com/clean.html";>
Clean Jokes</a> <- click to bonus jokes
<a href="http://members.aol.com/towebright/wavatyou.html";>
Waving At You</a> <- click here
<a href="http://www.irove.com/free0001.html";>
The Dance</a> <- click for a good time
<a href="http://www.irove.com/index001.html";>
Interactive Frog</a> <- find all 14 special effects
<a href="http://members.aol.com/towebright/animturk.html";>
The Dancing Turkey</a> <- click here
<a href="http://members.aol.com/towebright/turkey2.html";>
Turkey In The Sauna</a> <- click here
THE CHRISTMAS FUN LINKS<a href="http://www.irove.com/free0004.html";>
Happy Christmas</a> <- click here for Santa's Christmas message<a
href="http://www.irove.com/free0003.html";>
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town</a> <- click here<a
href="http://www.irove.com/free0002.html";>
Frosty The Snowman</a> <- click here<a
href="http://www.irove.com/index002.html";>
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer</a> <- click here
<a href="http://www.irove.com/free0005.html";>
HAPPY NEW YEAR</a> <- click here
_________________________
How to join:
If you would like a DIRTY joke sent to you each day for free, send an
e-mail to:<a href="mailto:FreeGags-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxx";>
FreeGags-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxx</a> <- click here
If you'd rather have a CLEAN joke sent to you each day for free, send an
e-mail to:<a href="mailto:jokefiles2-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxx";>
JokeFiles2-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxx</a> <- click here
_________________________
I hope you enjoyed today's jokes, freebies, fun links, and all of the
bonus jokes on the web sites!
Sincerely,
Ted "Willie" Wilson
__________________________________________________
With a free digital photo iCard, you can get online account information,
pay bills, download statements, email questions, sort transactions,
transfer balances, & be 100% safe for Internet shopping.<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=76&b=9999&c=1683";>
The First True Internet Card</A> <- click for a free one
__________________________________________________
The Questions:
What can I take for depression that won't give me side effects?
Is there herbal relief for PMS?
Will ginseng improve my sex drive?
How effective is St. John's Wort?
<a
href="http://www.websponsors.com/cgi-bin/ad_click.cgi?userid=10514&offerid=534";>
AllHerb.com Free Newsletter</a> <- click here for answers
_________________________
<a href="http://www.irove.com/free0005.html";>
HAPPY NEW MILLENNIUM</a> <- click here to celebrate
______________________________________________________________________
To unsubscribe, write to jokefiles2-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxx
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