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Dear Joe:
Your problems are probably due to your failure to upgrade to Man 1.0 with
the necessary plugin Husband 1.0. No doubt your are still running Boy 40.x
You will find that Wife 1.0 and Husband 1.0 are only compatible when the Man
1.0 upgrade has been completed. This will remove the outdated software
Selfishness 6.9 , Slovenliness14.6, Stupidity 365.0, and Rudeness 9.5.
The benefits of this upgrade are many including the elimination of system
crashes due to interface incompatibilities as both versions of the software
are self enhancing once the upgrade has been completed.
An additional piece of software you might consider purchasing is Wisdom.
There is only one version of this software, although it works best with
Compassion 2.0 and Patience 4.5.
Tech Support
-----Original Message-----
From: David Olson [mailto:trader7@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]
Sent: Wednesday, August 25, 1999 10:26 PM
To: OmegaList
Subject: Fw: Off Subject: Humor:Technical Support
To Technical Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and
noticed that the new program began unexpected duplication
(child) processing that took up a lot of space and valuable
resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in
the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself
into all other programs and launches during system initial-
ization, where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night
2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the
system whenever selected.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
attempting to run some of my other favorite applications.
I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
un-install does not seem to work on this program.
Can you help me, please!!! Otherwise, I'm screwed.
Thanks, Joe
-reply from Technical Support----
Dear Joe Screwed:
This is a very common problem male operators complain
about but is mostly due to a primary misconception.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES &
ENTERTAINMENT" program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator
to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge
Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden
operating files within your Wife 1.0 system would cause
Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the Wife
1.0 program files from the system once installed.
You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0
is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install
Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems
than the original system. Look in your manual under
"Warnings - Alimony /Child Support."
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the
situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might
also suggest you read the entire section regarding
General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might
occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of
action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In
any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
command before the operating system will return to
normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you
take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great
program but has a very high maintenance cost.
Consider buying additional software to improve the
performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances,
install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not
a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely
to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck.
Tech Support........Bill
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