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Found this on another BB. Made me laugh anyway........!!
__________________________________________________
An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs
and
chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping
his
whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered
her drink
she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real
cowboy?" To which
he replied, "Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch,
herding cows,
breaking horses, mending fences, I guess I am." After a short
while he
asked her what she was. She replied, "I've never been on a
ranch so I'm not
a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking
about women. As
soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat,
shower, watch
TV, everything seems to make me think of women."
A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink.
A couple
sat down next to him and asked. "Are you a real cowboy?" To
which he
replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a
lesbian."
---------------------------------------
This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks
in
the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one.
"Is it a boy or girl gorilla?" the service guy asks.
"Boy," is the man's response.
"Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there", says the service guy.
An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, Chihuahua,
shotgun,
and a pair of hand cuffs. He then gives the man some instructions:
"Now,
I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until
he
falls. When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's
testicles
off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself and allow
you
to put the handcuffs on."
The man asks, "What do I do with the shotgun?"
The service guy replies, "If I fall out of the tree before the
gorilla,
shoot the Chihuahua."
-----------------------------------
Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami. They were discussing the
fact that if they go for a swim, someone might steal their cigarettes,
but if they take the cigarettes with them, they will get soaked. Then
they notice a gorgeous girl walking out of the ocean. She reaches into
the top of her swimsuit, pulls out a perfectly dry cigarette and book of
matches and lights up.
The ladies go up to the girl and ask, "How do you keep your cigarettes
dry?" Her answer, "I put them inside of a condom."
The women rush to a pharmacy and ask for a condom. When the pharmacist
asks, "What size?" one of the ladies says, "Just big enough to fit a
Camel."
-----------------------------------
"Jane" was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that
they
have sex in the dark. Hoping to free her husband from his
inhibitions,
during a passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp--only to
discover
a
cucumber in his hand.
Is THIS what you've been using on me for the past 10 years!?!"
"Honey! Let me explain!"
"Why you sneaky bastard!" she screamed.
"You impotent SOB!!"
"Speaking of sneaky!" he interrupted,
"Maybe you'd care to explain our 2 kids!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
A couple is celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary over an intimate,
candlelit dinner.
She looks up from her wine glass and asks, "What were you thinking of
on that first night 25 years ago?"
He says, "I looked at you and wanted to suck your tits dry and screw
your
brains out."
She, sighing, "Oh, yes....I remember. And what do you think of when
you
look at me now?"
He replies, "Well, I think I did a pretty good job."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Brown <MarkBrown@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: Omega-List <omega-list@xxxxxxxxxx>
Date: 10 August 1998 00:13
Subject: Value of Online Info
>Just wondering if anyone has benefited more from this list than they have
>from books and seminaries? I would really like to know how do you rate
>mailing list against all other sources of trading information? Maybe we
>could take action to improve on a otherwise already good resource that cost
>nothing but reading time. Floor open, but where are the locals? Trading
>from their boats?
>
>
>Mark Brown
>
>============================================
>Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted
> for the change to take effect. Reboot now? [ OK ]
>============================================
>
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