----- Original Message -----
Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2008 5:21 PM
Subject: [TimeandCycles] OT: Investment terminology
Investment
terminology
BULL MARKET -- A random market
movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. (ag)
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18-month
period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband
gets no sex. MOMENTUM INVESTING -- The fine
art of buying high and selling low. VALUE INVESTING -- The art of
buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO -- The percentage of
investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER -- What my broker has made
me. STANDARD & POOR -- Your life
in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just
downgraded your stock. STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife
and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy who
actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and
cigarettes. MARKET CORRECTION -- The day
after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW -- The movement your
money makes as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO -- What you yell after
selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out
of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past
year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. PROFIT -- Religious guy who talks
to God
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