1. Only in
America......can a pizza get to your house faster
than
an
ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there
handicap parking places
in
front of a
skating rink.
3. Only in America......do
drugstores make the sick walk all
the
way to the
back
of the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can
buy their cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people
order double
cheeseburgers,
large fries,
and a
diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks
leave both doors open and
then chain the
pens
to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave
cars worth tens of thousands
of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the
garage.
7. Only in America......do we use
answering machines to screen calls
and then have call
waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we
didn't want
to
talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy
hot dogs in packages of ten and
buns in
packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use
the word 'politics' to describe
the
process so
well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning
'bloodsucking
creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they
have drive-up ATM machines with
Braille
lettering.
EVER WONDER
Why the sun lightens our hair, but
darkens our skin?
Why
women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the
headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long
word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do
"practice"?
Why is it that to stop a Windows
operating system, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial
flavor, and dishwashing liquid
made with real
lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money
called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest
traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat
food?
When dog food is new and improved
tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two
mosquitoes?
Why
do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box
that
is used on airplanes?
Why don't
they
make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it
rains?
Why are they called apartments when
they
are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is
Congress the opposite of
progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call
the
airport the terminal?