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<font
color="#660033">Technical Market Terminology Tutorial
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"It's a dead-cat bounce":
Believe me, there is no justification for this rally.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"The market is in a narrow
trading range": Prices aren't jumping around as much as usual, and
nobody can figure out why.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"Bonds retreated on bearish
comments from the Fed": Once again, nobody understood what Alan Greenspan
said. But why else could bonds have fallen?
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"We're near-term cautious
but long-term optimistic": Don't blame us if the market tanks.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"The stock market was down
on technical factors": We have no idea why shares fell.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"The market fell on heavy
selling by mutual funds": We still have no idea why the market fell.
But everybody knows small investors are stupid, right?
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"The trend is your friend":
Stocks have been going up.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"Trees don't grow to the
sky": Stocks stopped going up.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"The market is looking a
little extended": We're dumping everything.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"Don't miss this compelling
opportunity": I need the commission.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"The market climbs a wall
of worry": Sure, it is tough to be blasé about rising oil prices,
climbing interest rates and Middle East tensions. But I really, really
need the commission.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"It isn't a loss until you
sell it": You took a bath in the stock, but let's ignore it, and
maybe it will go away.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"Focus on total return":
Please, please, please don't notice the fund's outrageously high expenses.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"It's cheap on a relative
basis": It is pretty darn expensive, but other folks own stuff that
is even more ridiculously priced.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"It's fairly valued":
If the stock climbs a few more bucks, we're unloading this puppy.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"We've got some great values
in our portfolio": Our stocks have been massacred.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"We buy growth at a reasonable
price": We're holding our noses and paying up for some pretty expensive
stocks.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"We're long-term investors":
The stock tanked, but we are hanging on, hoping to break even.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"We think the stock is a
potential buyout candidate": I sure hope some corporate raider is
reading this.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"The stock's oversold":
We never imagined the shares could fall this far.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"Nobody ever went broke taking
profits": We bought the stock at $16, sold it at $32, and two weeks
later it hit $114.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"The company's quarterly
earnings beat expectations": The chief financial officer sandbagged
analysts.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"We've researched this company
thoroughly": Here's what we heard from the company's vice president
of investor relations.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"We're fundamental investors":
We listen to the chief executive's sales pitch.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"We're technical investors":
We skip the sales pitch and pull out the Ouija board.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"We buy companies, not pieces
of paper": I majored in philosophy.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"Our strength is evaluating
corporate management": We play a lot of golf.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"The company has solid fundamentals":
It is a shame the shares are so absurdly overvalued.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"It's a New Economy stock":
Don't even bother asking about earnings.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"We rate the stock a strong
buy": We need the company's investment-banking business.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"We consider the stock attractive
long-term": The next year is going to be rough.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"We rate the stock a hold":
For goodness sake, dump your shares.
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<font
face="Book Antiqua, Times New Roman, Times">"We rate it a sell":
I'm hoping to get the early-retirement package.
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