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> 'TIME-TRAVELER' BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING
> Wednesday March 19, 2003
>
> By CHAD KULTGEN
>
> NEW YORK -- Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall
> Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims to
> be a time-traveler from the year 2256!
>
> Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-
> old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny
> success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on
> January 28.
>
> "We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a
> pathological liar," says an SEC insider.
>
> "But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two
> weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every
> trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which
> simply can't be pure luck.
>
> "The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside
> information. He's going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until
> he agrees to give up his sources."
>
> The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors
> crying in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-risk
> trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of
> Wall Street watchdogs.
>
> "If a company's stock rose due to a merger or technological
> breakthrough that was supposed to be secret, Mr. Carlssin somehow
> knew about it in advance," says the SEC source close to the hush-
> hush, ongoing investigation.
>
> When investigators hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more
> than they bargained for: A mind-boggling four-hour confession.
>
> Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200
> years in the future, when it is common knowledge that our era
> experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone
> armed with knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through
> the roof could make a fortune.
>
> "It was just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly said in his
> videotaped confession. "I had planned to make it look natural, you
> know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect.
> But I just got caught in the moment."
>
> In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to
> divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden
> and a cure for AIDS.
>
> All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his "time
> craft."
>
> However, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss
> how it works, supposedly out of fear the technology could "fall into
> the wrong hands."
>
> Officials are quite confident the "time-traveler's" claims are bogus.
> Yet the SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any Andrew
> Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."
>
> Weekly World News will continue to follow this story as it unfolds.
> Keep watching for further developments.
>
> http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20030319/104808600007.html
>
>
>
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>
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