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In light of the erudite discusion on which country will dominate and
lead us into this millennium [along with other minutia], I
respectfully submit something forwarded to me in that vein.
Hope you enjoy it.
John
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies,
and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the
bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general
offer so that you getall four cows back, with a tax exemption for
five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the
majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to
your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with
the release. The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A CANADIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. Your dairy operation is productive, and you sell
80% of the milk to the US market. The American government decides
that you are taking advantage of federal subsidies to dump milk on
the market below cost,and slaps you with 25% "countervailing" duties,
to protect the interests of
the above-mentioned American Corporation.
Angered and enraged in typical polite Canadian fashion, you cheer on
the Canadian hockey team to pound the USA team 5-2 and win Olympic
gold. You let out a cheer, wave the Maple Leaf a bit, then apologize
for the outburst and get back to milking your cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create
clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others
for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
reported the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory,
an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their
calves to Harvard to become doctors.
So, who needs people?
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To: "John Cappello" <jvc689@xxxxxxx>
Subject: how the world works-have a good laugh and a nice weekend.
From: "Mary P. Pagano" <beacon@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: 08/16/2002 03:54pm
thought you'd find this funny.
Mary
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you getall four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A CANADIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. Your dairy operation is productive, and you sell 80% of the milk to the US market. The American government decides that you are taking advantage of federal subsidies to dump milk on the market below cost,and slaps you with 25% "countervailing" duties, to protect the interests of
the above-mentioned American Corporation.
Angered and enraged in typical polite Canadian fashion, you cheer on the Canadian hockey team to pound the USA team 5-2 and win Olympic gold. You let out a cheer, wave the Maple Leaf a bit, then apologize for the outburst and get back to milking your cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors.
So, who needs people?
thought you'd find this
funny.
Mary
<FONT
face=Arial>
TRADITIONAL
CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your
herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell
three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general offer so that you getall four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving
you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys
your bull. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are
surprised when the cow drops dead. A CANADIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. Your dairy operation is productive, and you sell 80%
of the milk to the US market. The American government decides that you are
taking advantage of federal subsidies to dump milk on the market below cost,and
slaps you with 25% "countervailing" duties, to protect the interests of the
above-mentioned American Corporation. Angered and enraged in typical
polite Canadian fashion, you cheer on the Canadian hockey team to pound the USA
team 5-2 and win Olympic gold. You let out a cheer, wave the Maple Leaf a bit,
then apologize for the outburst and get back to milking your cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on
strike because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow
cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide. A
GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You reengineer them so they
live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. A
BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you
don't know where they are. You break for lunch. A RUSSIAN
CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of
vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows, none
of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. A
HINDU CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300
people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and
arrest the newsman who reported the numbers. AN ISRAELI
CORPORATION So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a
milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send
their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
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