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Friday Humor - WMI



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<DIV>UPI Chicago, 7/16/99</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV>After the bell today Waste Management Inc. (WMI) announced their long 
awaited Internet strategy.&nbsp; Speculation began earlier this week on the 
popular CNBC morning business show, Squawk Box, that WMI was working on such a 
strategy.&nbsp; The company which specializes in solid waste removal and 
processing and has been struggling of late&nbsp;due to accounting 
irregularities, is down approximate 40% from its 52 week high of 60 but closed 
up 3/16 at 36-1/4 today.</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV>An unnamed company spokesperson announced that WMI has reached a definitive 
agreement with both America On Line (AOL) and Yahoo to dispose of the waste 
created each time a computer user empties the Windows recycle bin.&nbsp; Using a 
proprietary Internet connection, the waste will be transported to one of six yet 
to be constructed processing facility, where it will be recycled in new bits and 
bites, which will then be sold to consumers.&nbsp; The new service which will be 
called WMI.com&nbsp;will allow Internet consumers&nbsp;to be able to purchase 
recycled bits and bites on line for less than the cost of new ones from your 
local computer store.&nbsp; The spokesperson went on to say that recycled bits 
are every bit as good as new ones.</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV>Some Government regulators have, in the past, expressed concerns about 
privacy issues, however the WMI spokesperson assured reporters that the waste 
files would be thoroughly shredded prior to recycling and that no unauthorized 
WMI employees would have access to any data that they may contain.</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV>In a related story the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) has expressed 
concerns that criminals and subversives would be able to destroy evidence of 
their crimes by using the new service.&nbsp; Siting national security, the FBI 
has asked the House Judiciary Committee to begin hearings towards developing 
legislation which would allow law enforcement agencies access to critical data 
prior to shredding.</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV>On Wall Street, one Internet analyst predicted this announcement would 
"revolutionize Internet waste removal" and raised his 3 day target for the stock 
to 135-3/16.&nbsp;&nbsp;Upon further questioning, the analyst however admitted 
his firm held more than 10,000 Aug 60 calls, symbol WMIHL.&nbsp; Shares in WMI 
where halted prior to the announcement, however, an SEC spokesperson has assured 
potential investors that the stock will be open for trading as usual 
Monday.</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV>We all better get in on this before it's to late.</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Good luck and good trading,</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Ray Raffurty</DIV></BODY></HTML>
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