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A Complicated Order
A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter
one morning and said, "I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked
it's runny, and the other so over cooked it's tough and hard to eat. Also,
grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast
that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight
from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very
weak coffee, luke-warm."
"That's a complicated order sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be
quite difficult to prepare."
The guest replied, "Oh? But that's what I got yesterday!" >>
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Date: 31 Dec 1999 04:18:54 -0000
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From: "www.JokeFiles.com" <jokefiles2-owner@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Delivered-To: mailing list jokefiles2@xxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: A Joke A Day (Friday ... December 31, 1999)
www.JokeFiles.com
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$100 worth of Internet coupons</a> <- click here
<a
href="http://www.commission-junction.com/track/track.dll?AID=42542&PID=181818&URL=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eonlinesurveys%2Ecom";>
Online Survey market research panel.</a> <- click here
Its fun, easy and you can win $1,000.
_________________________
CHRISTMAS WEEK SPECIAL:<a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/turbo.pl?mediaimage";>
Quicken Turbo Tax</a> <- FREE trial
Download now and get Printmaster Publishing Suite 7.0 free!
_________________________
Invite friends to send an e-mail to <a
href="mailto:LM209@xxxxxxx";>LM209@xxxxxxx</a> to join the free joke list.
_________________________
ALL NEW FUN PAGE!!!
<a href="http://www.irove.com/free0005.html";>
HAPPY NEW YEAR</a> <- click here to celebrate
_________________________
A Complicated Order
A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter
one morning and said, "I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked
it's runny, and the other so over cooked it's tough and hard to eat. Also,
grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast
that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight
from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very
weak coffee, luke-warm."
"That's a complicated order sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be
quite difficult to prepare."
The guest replied, "Oh? But that's what I got yesterday!"
----
Bonus joke below!
_________________________
<a href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=76&b=9999&c=1683";>
Free iCard</A> <- pay your bills online
<a href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/freelotto.pl?mediaimage";>
Play Free LOTTO</a> <- Win $1,000,000.00
<a href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/social.pl?mediaimage";>
Free Online Dating Service</a> <- click to romance
_________________________
BONUS JOKE
The Baptism
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and
said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?"
"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a
caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our
guests."
"I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared
spiritually?"
"Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of
whiskey."
<a href="http://www.irove.com/free0005.html";>
Happy New Year</a> <- click here
_________________________<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=85&b=9999&c=1683";>
FREE INTERNET ACCESS</a> <- click here
<a href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/bigword.pl?mediaimage";>
FORD EXPLORER</a> <- click to win
<a href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=81&b=9999&c=1683"; >
JobsOnline</a> <- find a new career
MANY MORE COOL FREEBIES: <a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=74&b=9999&c=1683";>
The Gator</a> <- free software that types for you!<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=79&b=9999&c=1683";>
Free Horoscope</a> <- click here<a
href="http://www.websponsors.com/cgi-bin/ad_click.cgi?userid=10514&offerid=619";>
Turbo Tax</a> <- free 30-day trial<a href="http://www.irove.com/cd.html";>
22 Free CD-ROMs</a> <- s&h added<a
href="http://www.valupage.com/?From=iRove";>
Grocery Coupons</a> <- save money each week<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=69&b=1&c=1683&offer=38";>
FAMILY TREE DELUXE CD-ROM</a> <- s&h added<a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/pagoo.pl?mediaimage";>
The Solution Is Pagoo</a> <- get phone messages while online<a
href="http://www.websponsors.com/cgi-bin/ad_click.cgi?userid=10514&offerid=534";>
All Herb</a> <- free newsletter<a
href="http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/stat?id=7Aq5nQBIJr4&offerid=8489&type=1&subid=0"; >
Food.com</a> <- click for local take-out or delivery<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=69&b=9999&c=1683&offer=41";>
JEOPARDY!</a> <- FREE CD-ROM (s&h added)<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=74&b=9999&c=1683";>
The Gator</a> <- free cool software<a
href="http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/stat?id=7Aq5nQBIJr4&offerid=6056&type=1&subid=0"; >
Practical Programs (self help)</a> <- FREE DIET assessment<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=84&b=9999&c=1683";>
Get Gooey</a> <- free new chat software<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=69&b=1&c=1683&offer=36";>
GUIDE TO COOKING CD-ROM</a> <- s&h added<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=81&b=9999&c=1683"; >
Free 30 minute phone card</a> <- click here
11 Sweepstakes To Win:<a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/bigword.pl?mediaimage";>
FORD EXPLORER</a><a href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/ny.pl?mediaimage";>
$10,000 NYC Shopping Spree</a><a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/jeep.pl?mediaimage";>
Jeep Sweepstakes</a><a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/super.pl?mediaimage";>
Win a new DELL computer</a><a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/himprove.pl?mediaimage";>
Home Improvement</a><a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/tstereo.pl?mediaimage";>
Tweaked Out Car Stereo</a><a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/mmania.pl?mediaimage";>
Music Mania Sweepstakes</a>
The 4 Naughty or Nice Sweepstakes:<a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/nice.pl?mediaimage";>
Volkswagen Jetta</a><a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/nice.pl?mediaimage";>
Diamond Necklace</a><a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/nice.pl?mediaimage";>
61" Big Screen TV</a><a
href="http://www.bachsys.com/cgi-bin/nice.pl?mediaimage";>
Sony Video Camera</a>
_________________________
Some Fun Stuff:
THE CHRISTMAS FUN LINKS<a href="http://www.irove.com/free0004.html";>
Happy Christmas</a> <- click here for Santa's Christmas message<a
href="http://www.irove.com/free0003.html";>
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town</a> <- click here<a
href="http://www.irove.com/free0002.html";>
Frosty The Snowman</a> <- click here<a
href="http://www.irove.com/index002.html";>
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer</a> <- click here
14 Bonus jokes for the week of December 26 - January 1:<a
href="http://www.jokefiles.com/index.html";>
www.JokeFiles.com</a>
<a href="http://www.jokefiles.com/dirty.html";>
Off-Color Jokes</a> <- click to bonus jokes
<a href="http://www.jokefiles.com/clean.html";>
Clean Jokes</a> <- click to bonus jokes
<a href="http://members.aol.com/towebright/wavatyou.html";>
Waving At You</a> <- click here
<a href="http://www.irove.com/free0001.html";>
The Dance</a> <- click for a good time
<a href="http://www.irove.com/index001.html";>
Interactive Frog</a> <- find all 14 special effects
<a href="http://members.aol.com/towebright/animturk.html";>
The Dancing Turkey</a> <- click here
<a href="http://members.aol.com/towebright/turkey2.html";>
Turkey In The Sauna</a> <- click here
_________________________
IMPORTANT NOTICE: We do not e-mail the same jokes that are on the web
site. So if you join one of our mailing lists, you will receive completely
different jokes by e-mail than the ones posted on the web sites. Twice as
much fun for you!
If you would like a dirty joke sent to you each day for free, send an
e-mail to:<a href="mailto:FreeGags-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxx";>
FreeGags-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxx</a> <- click here
If you'd rather have a clean joke sent to you each day for free, send an
e-mail to:<a href="mailto:jokefiles2-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxx";>
JokeFiles2-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxx</a> <- click here
_________________________
I hope you enjoyed today's jokes, freebies, fun links, and all of the
bonus jokes on the web sites!
Sincerely,
Ted "Willie" Wilson
__________________________________________________
With a free digital photo iCard, you can get online account information,
pay bills, download statements, email questions, sort transactions,
transfer balances, & be 100% safe for Internet shopping.<a
href="http://www.cyberbounty.com/ad?a=76&b=9999&c=1683";>
The First True Internet Card</A> <- click for a free one
__________________________________________________
The Questions:
What can I take for depression that won't give me side effects?
Is there herbal relief for PMS?
Will ginseng improve my sex drive?
How effective is St. John's Wort?
<a
href="http://www.websponsors.com/cgi-bin/ad_click.cgi?userid=10514&offerid=534";>
AllHerb.com Free Newsletter</a> <- click here for answers
__________________________________________________
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