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Message-ID:
From: "Cooper, Daniel"
To: "'rtobiass@xxxxxxx'"
Subject: FW: MAY GOODIES 7 (ERICH - IGNORE)
Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 10:04:58 -0400
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> For those of you interested in foreign languages...
>
> This paper was turned in by an Oakland High school student
> who received the highest honors at the school district's ebonics
> translation competition.
>
> Assignment:
> Please translate the following song lyrics from ebonics to
> standard English.
>
> Artist: Notorious B-I-G (a.k.a. Biggy Smalls)
> Album: Ready to Die
> Song: One more chance (remix)
>
> First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys
> Dummies - playboy bunnies, those wantin' money
> Those the ones I like 'cause they don't get nathan'
> But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation
> Garbage, I turn like doorknobs
> Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever
> However, I stay coochied down to the socks
> Rings and watch filled with rocks
>
> "As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of
> all kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect,
> nude magazine models, and whores. I particularly enjoy sexual
> encounters with the latter group as they are generally
> disappointed in the fact that they only receive penile intercourse
> and nothing more, unless of course, they douche on a
> consistent basis. Although I am extremely unattractive, I am
> able to engage in these types of sexual acts with some
> regularity. Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my fancy
> and expensive jewelery."
>
> And my jam knock in the Mitsubishi
> Girls pee pee when they see me,
> Nava-hoes creep me in they tee pee
> As I lay down laws like I lay carpet
> Stop it - if you think your gonna make a profit
>
> "I enjoy playing my music loudly on my car stereo. Apparently,
> women enjoy this also because they become sexually aroused
> when they see me driving. Oddly enough, when I visit the Native
> American reservations, some of the more sexually promiscuous
> Indian women attempt to seduce me in their homes. Their intent
> is to divest me of my earnings. Such actions are unacceptable."
>
> Don't see my ones, don't see my guns - get it
> Now tell ya friends Poppa hit it then split it
> In two as I flow with the Junior Mafia
> I don't know what the hell's stoppin' ya
> I'm clockin' ya - Versace shades watchin' ya
> Once ya grin, I'm in game, begin
>
> "Understand this fact: you can have neither my money, nor my
> weapons. I suggest that you inform your peers that we engaged
> in violent sexual acts. Currently, I am rapping with my
> associates, the Junior Mafia. I'm having some difficulty
> understanding why you refuse to approach me. I am attempting
> to make eye contact with you through my expensives glasses,
> and as soon as you respond with a smile, I will approach you."
>
> First I talk about how I dress and this
> And diamond necklesses - stretch Lexuses
> The sex is just immaculate from the back I get
> Deeper and deeper - help ya reach the
> Climax that your man can't make
> Call and tell him you'll be home real late
> Let's sing the break
>
> "I prefer to open the conversation with light banter about my
> wardrobe and jewelery, then I like to discuss my collection of
> expensive cars. This is more than enough to convince you to
> have sexual intercourse with me. I am able to insert my penis
> further into you when I enter you from behind.
> Furthermore, you will be able to reach orgasm. I understand this
> to be a problem with your current sexual partner. He needn't be
> concerned about your whereabouts. Please phone him and
> inform him that you won't be home for a while. By the way, please
> sing the chorus of the song for me also."
>
> She's sick of that song on how it's so long
> Thought he worked his until I handled my biz
> There I is - major pain like Damon Wayans
> Low down dirty even like his brother Keenan
> Schemin' - don't bring your girl 'round me
> True player for real, ask Puff Daddy
>
> "Your current love interest no longer wishes to hear your
> fabrications about the length of your member. After I had sexual
> intercourse with your woman, she became enlightened as to the
> proper way it is supposed to be performed; violently and
> immorally. It would be in your best interest to keep your woman
> away from me as my sexual prowess is very strong. If you are
> unconvinced, ask Puff Daddy."
>
> You - ringin' bells with bags from Chanel
> Baby Benz, traded in your Hyundai Excel
> Fully equipped, CD changer with the cell
> She beeped me, meet me at twelve
>
> "Despite the fact that you attempted to win her at her doorstep
> with bags full of expensive clothes and a car (the lower end
> model Mercedes Benz which you financed by signing over your
> current vehicle) containing an expensive stereo and a cellular
> phone, your woman has contacted me through my pager
> indicating that we should rendezvous at midnight."
>
> Where you at? Flippin' jobs, playin' car notes?
> While I'm swimmin' in ya women like the breast stroke
> Right stroke, left stroke what's the best stroke
> Death stroke - tongue all down her throat
> Nuthin' left to do but send her home to you
> I'm through - can ya sing the song for me, boo?
>
> "You, on the other hand, jump from job to job, barely able to
> maintain payments on the Mercedes Benz you purchased for your
> woman. Meanwhile, I continue to engage in sexual intercourse
> and commit lewd osculatory acts with your women. My only
> remaining option is to request that they leave my home and
> return to you because I have reached orgasm and no longer have
> a need for their presence."
>
> So, what's it gonna be? Him or me?
> We can cruise the world with pearls
> Gator boots for girls
> The envy of all women, crushed linen
> Cartier wrist-wear with diamonds in 'em
> The finest women I love with a passion
> Ya man's a wimp, I give that ass a good thrashin'
>
> "The ultimate decision rests with you. Whom do you choose as
> your sexual partner. I can take you on cruises around the world.
> I will dress you in the finest jewelery and footwear. You will be
> envied by women worldwide in your fine clothes and jewelery.
> There is a special place in my heart for beautiful women. I will
> defeat yourman in an altercation because he is effeminate."
>
> High fashion - flyin' into all states
> Sexin' me while your man masturbates
> Isn't this great? Your flight leaves at eight
> Her flight lands at nine, my game just rewinds
> Lyrically I'm supposed to represent
> I'm not only the client, I'm the player president
>
> "You will be dressed in finest clothes on the runways of Paris. I
> will fly you to every state to shop for fine clothes and jewelery.
> You will enjoy sexual intercourse with me and your man will be
> forced to pleasure himself through manual stimulation. What a
> life! I'll return you to LaGuardia in time to catch your 8 o'clock
> flight. The timing is perfect becuase I have scheduled a date
> with a second woman who arrives at the same gate at 9 o'clock.
> I'll seduce her in the same way that I seduced you. I rap well and
> I am a positive reflection of my hometown. Not only am I a
> sexually deviant, misogynistic, immoral, wealthy, male prostitute,
> but I also sit on the board of directors of the organization that
> governs others of my kind.
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