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European Spelling
Here it is - the latest news from Europe
The News Standard has received this bulletin fresh from our Brussels-based
hack. The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part
of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling
had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for
what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly,
sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be
replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters
kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the
sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will
make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by
"z" and "w" by v During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten
styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Lionel Issen" <lissen@xxxxxxx>
To: "Metastock List" <metastock@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Sunday, March 19, 2000 8:57 PM
Subject: new English spelling
> Last Fall someone posted a message about the proposed new standard
European
> spelling for the English language.
> Does anyone know if this is going forward or if this idea has been
dropped?
> Lionel Issen
> lissen@xxxxxxxxx
>
>
>
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