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hopefully you may manage a smile or two as you read these...
STOCK MARKET TERMS:
BULL MARKET ... A random market movement causing
an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET ... An extended period when kids get no
allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets
no sex.
VALUE INVESTING ... The art of buying low, and selling
lower.
P/E RATIO ... The percentage of investors wetting their
pants as the market goes lower.
BROKER ... What my broker has made me.
STANDARD &POOR ... My life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST ... Idiot who just downgraded my stock.
STOCK SPLIT ... When your ex-wife and her lawyer split
your assets between them.
FINANCIAL PLANNER ... A guy whose phone has been
disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION ... The day after I buy stocks.
CASH FLOW ... The movement my money makes as it
disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO ... What you yell after selling it to some poor
sucker.
WINDOWS 2000 ... What you jump out of when you are the
poor sucker above.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR ... Last year's investor who is
now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT ... an archaic word, no longer in use.
401K ... now known as only a 201K.
CEO ... Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO ... Corporate Fraud Officer
MBA ... Master of Bogus Accounting
Cheers...Gerry
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